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“I’ve done some really bad things, especially the prostitution that makes me sick to my stomach.

I am not ashamed of it now, I can really say, yes I did do that.

--- --- --- Her past is so tangled, all you can do is find a line and see where it leads.

The line of numbers — 56 arrests, 22 convictions, seven years on the street selling sex, 10 relapses since she left, three children, two found, one still lost.

I am out of an almost 5-year-long relationship, with the only girlfriend I ever had, and which profoundly defined every aspect of my life throughout my late teens, university and first career experiences.

I had many changed during the past months and came to the conclusion that I really want to try this thing I have never tried before: casual sex.

“It is a really confusing story, but it’s the saddest thing that ever happened,” the woman says. Stacey moves to the streets to make the money to pay for the drugs. “Every three hours it was like one more fix to the next fix, to the next fix to the next fix. Lorna Bruce begins working with women to help them leave the dangerous sex trade. A few months later, she finds a dope-sick Stacey unable to find any drugs, in arrears at the methadone clinic and looking for a john.She brings some of her own clothes for Stacey to wear and makes her change.“No wonder I had so many problems in court before,” Stacey remembers, laughing.When she relapses or, they move in with other family. Talking about the trauma of working on the street or her own childhood often leads to relapse. I have the plants and the dog and now it’s time for the boyfriend. The trauma and the cocktail of medications she takes for physical ailments send her into a rage that results in threats and an arrest. She recovers and spends two years getting stronger. Few people really listen to their stories, which are far more complex than the traditional narratives that label them as only victims, only prostitutes, morally or emotionally beyond repair or worth.“I just have to gut it out,” Stacey says after one relapse. It’s going to be years to get over what I’ve been through.” By 2011, she seems gaining control. The first time Stacey agrees to meet me was in March 2009, at the John Gordon Home.

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